The Dawn of a New Tomorrow

In Fornicalia, every proposition on our ballot went down in engulfing flames. Not just little but Bigly and Ugly. At first blush, our electorate took their collective right fist and rammed it into Governor Arnold Schwarzennegger's stomach. For someone who knows how to punch and fight, Arnold exhibited little if any will to put up his dukes, much less unleash his own barrage of counter-blows.

Common sense got beaten down by a barrage of repetitive, misleading ads that were occasionally outright lies. The campaign against Gov. Arnold was absolutely effective and, as such, Fornicalians sent a remarkably conflicting message to the rest of the country, and that would be: yes, we hated Gray Davis and voted him out, voting Arnold in under the guise of regime change trumpeting our need to turn government "back to the people" and remove the influence of "special interests." Then we said we liked things just as they were via this election. Huh?

Except, of course, that "our own" oxen were subject to becoming gored and special interests once again stomped on clearheaded ideas. As I've always indicated, never let rationality, common sense, proportion and logic get in the way of a good screwed-up decision process. Hence, the ill-educated Fornicalia electorate spoke; and what they said is:

• We can't be bothered to actually read the propositions;
• We are confused when more than a couple propositions are on the ballot;
• When we hear lies repeated more than twice, we believe them;
• When things are the least bit confusing or we as voters are the least bit fatigued, it's easiest to simply vote no;

So here's what we believe in Fornicalia:

• Parents have no right to be notified before abortions can be performed on girls under 18;
• Teacher tenure will continue to be 2 instead of 5 years;
• Any Fornicalia union can continue to use members' dues for any political purpose against the wish of the individual member, who has no say;
• There are no spending limits for the State of Fornicalia; we may continue to spend more than we receive in taxes from the taxpayers;
• We like our gerrymandered districts in Fornicalia; it keeps those currently in power and gosh, why should we brook those pesky incumbents?
• There should be no discount prescription drug program for the state (fine by me);
• There should be no incentives paid by the state to prescription drug companies (fine by me);
• We will not re-regulate our energy market (fine by me).

In San Francisco (you'll really appreciate this!), voters decided to ban handguns and oppose the presence of military recruiters in city schools. City of San Francisco residents passed their Proposition H, which requires city residents who already own guns to turn them in to police by April 1, 2006, and makes it illegal to buy, sell, distribute and manufacture firearms and ammunition in the city.

One out of 8 US citizens currently live in Fornicalia, the 6th largest economy in the entire world, not just our nation. Sturdy American stock of all ethnicities settled in Fornicalia originally because it offered the dawn of a new tomorrow, there was promise of an unfettered future where people could make their fortunes with hard work, minimal if any regulation, new hopes and adventures.

But here's the rub: according to the New York Times, in 2004 half a million people left Fornicalia for other parts of the United States, while fewer than 400,000 Americans moved into the state. The net outflow has risen fivefold, to more than 100,000, since 2001, an analysis by Economy.com, a research company, shows -- except that immigration from other countries and births have kept the state's population growing.

In the San Francisco, Fornicalia area, more people are leaving than arriving. Housing prices are beyond horrendous and this has the the literal driving force behind the trend. Most people move to adjoining states like Nevada, Washington, Oregon and Arizona, but the trending also indicates more folks moving to the Southeast and Midwest.

Whereas financial issues weigh heavily upon the minds of those leaving Fornicalia, I submit that an even greater emerging issue will be social and political philosophies.

To all this I say: Fornicalians will in fact reap what they sow; this is the Dawn of a New Tomorrow, taxpayers will foot the ultimate price, and we get what we deserve.

To the rest of you in other states: beware. What happens in Fornicalia first happens elsewhere later. So guess what? Here come our "state-d" thoughts, beliefs and trends!

Are ya ready?

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An afterthought: Arnold Schwarzennegger really is a fighter at heart. He's been a huge competitor and this has translated to his being a clever and productive businessman. Arnold has taken a big hit; he may be down but don't count him out.