Change, Part III

I never really look for anything. What God throws my way comes. I wake up in the morning and whichever way God turns my feet, I go. ~Pearl Bailey

I woke up yesterday morning and I took a walk. I put on glasses so I could see.

There were flowers growing, though it was cold. I could reach out and touch them, they were physical, I rubbed my thumb and forefinger on their fragile petals. They were a living manifestation of beauty.

Along my path was a small brook cutting its jagged way down the hill, winding under the road and then emptying further down and disappearing into the pines beyond. I could hear its speech and watched blades of grass mix with the water and drift with the flow.

I walked further and could hear the lonesome horns of an approaching train, then heard the massive strength of its four locomotives struggling up the hill, the engines giving vibration to my lungs. I looked at a few leaves left on nearby trees and marveled at their greater, quiet, incredible strength this time of year.

I finished my walk in solitude, examined the crackling-sharp cerulean sky, awed with the majesty of the young and old pines and firs and having noticed what I should notice each day: the smallest bit of moss to the blue above and the ebon beyond. It is a miracle that I should have awakened today and a blessing if I do so tomorrow. Where have I been? How has my life passed so quickly to this point? What have I done? What is the point? What is my purpose? How were all these beautiful things possible? How did they get here? Big questions. My mind ached. I needed more than glasses to See.

I couldn't manage the problems I laid on myself

And it just made it worse when I laid them on somebody else

So I finally surrendered it all brought down in dispair

I cried out for help and I felt a warm comforter there.

And I came to believe in a power much higher than I

I came to believe that I needed help to get by

In childlike faith I gave in and gave him a try

And I came to believe in a power much higher than I

Nothing worked out when I handled it all on my own

And each time I failed it made me feel twice as alone

Then I cried, "Lord there must be a sure and easier way

For it just cannot be that a man should lose hope every day.

Yes, I came to believe in a power much higher than I.

-- Johnny Cash, I Came To Believe, American V, 2006

I don't think I happened to believe in God; I think I've come to believe in God.

BZ