Clyde Crashcup Presents:

A COMPILATION OF VERY IMPORTANT BUT LITTLE-KNOWN SCIENTIFIC PRINCIPLES related to Certain Peculiar Laws of Inexactitude, Perversity and Whimsey in Scientific Endeavor.

MURPHY'S LAW: If anything can go wrong, it will.

SKINNER'S CONSTANT: That quantity which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to, or subtracted from the answer you get, gives you the answer you should have gotten (this is known in some circles as Finnegan's Fudge Factor).

HORNER'S FIVE-THUMB POSTULATE: Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.

CAHN'S AXIOM: When all else fails, consider reading the accompanying instruction sheet.

SPARE PARTS PRINCIPLE: The accessability, during recovery of small parts which fall from the work bench, varies directly with the size of the part -- and inversely with its importance to the completion of the task underway.

GUMPERSON'S LAW: The probability of a given event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

THE ORDERING PRINCIPLE: Those supplies necessary for yesterday's experiment must be ordered no later than tomorrow, noon.

TRANSCRIPTION SQUARE LAW: The number of errors made is equal to the sum of the "squares" employed.

CHISHOLM'S LAW OF HUMAN INTERACTION: Anytime that things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.

RIDDLE'S CONSTANT: There are coexisting elements in frustrational phenomena which separate expected results from achieved results.

THEORY OF INTERNATIONAL SOCIETY OF PHILOSOPHIC ENGINEERING: In any calculation, any error which can creep or slink or sidle in, will.

RULE OF ACCURACY: When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.

COROLLARY TO THE RULE OF ACCURACY: Provided, of course, that you actually know there is a problem.

______________


BZ