God, I Need a Larf!

17 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity:


1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask: "Do you want fries with that?"

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

5. Put Decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks at work. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, immediately switch to Espresso the next morning.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write: "For smuggled diamonds."

7. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

8. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a really serious face.

9. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

10. Sing along when you attend the opera.

11. Go to a poetry recital, and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

13. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

14. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Bottom."

15. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream: "I won, I won!!"

16. When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot yelling: "Run for your life, they're loose!"

17. Tell your children over dinner: "Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go."


HOW TO DETERMINE YOUR PORN STAR NAME:

Your first name should be the name of your first pet: ________________.
Your second name should be the first street you ever lived on: _____________.

What's your porn star name?



Salud!

BZ


Note to Readers: I am simply "politicked-out" today. . .