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Bloviating Zeppelin: Hesitation

Bloviating Zeppelin

(in-ep-toc'-ra-cy) - a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Hesitation


I hesitate to make this post, but thought it might stimulate discussion and, admittedly, I'm curious about a possible response via comments. Some people think I'm sufficiently mentally borderline anyway, much less considering what I'm about to write. But in any event it was, to say the least, wholly unnerving. And I have never, ever, experienced anything like it in my 50+ years.

In the process of driving home from our honeymoon last week, my wife and I stopped, last minute, at a motel overlooking Lake Shasta in order to avoid being stuck in a nasty snowstorm ravaging I-5 in California. I can distinctly remember we were on the second floor in room 214. There were perhaps 5 others in the entire motel complex.

We had dinner at the motel's restaurant bar and found it overpriced and disappointing. We went back to the room through a heavy downpour, where we watched some television for an hour or so, and I went to bed first. She continued to watch television for a bit longer.

I had a dream where I found myself in that same precise room, in the darkness. I could see, in my dream, the shape of my wife sleeping on her left side, away from me, as a darker object framed by the slightly lighter shades of the bathroom in the background. I found, in my dream, comfort in front of me and terror behind. I was on my back in the motel room, my right hand hanging over the bed.

I can recall an overwhelming feeling of malevolence in the room, encompassing the room, draping the room. I can describe it in no other fashion: malevolence, a permeating malevolence, something clearly wishing to do me harm. And, as my hand lay over the side, there was pressure on my hand and it was clutched by something much larger than my hand, damp and cooler than my prevailing body temperature. I was being touched. Clasped.

There was pressure and contact; my brain told me so.

Because of this contact, I recall my brain awakening me from the dream. And yet this, this, presence was still there, a damaging presence, an ill presence. I had had the dream and yet the dream seemed to have followed me into the present. There was the silhouette of my wife, rimmed by the light from the bathroom window. I could hear her heavy breathing away from me; I could hear the rain and wind outside, spattering against the glass. My hand was held. The presence was on my right. I turned my head left to see my wife. I did not want to look to my right. I pulled my hand, successfully, away from the edge of the bed. A large, large presence was still at the direct edge of my side of the bed though no longer grasping me. It was massive.

And then it was gone.

I remained awake for at least another hour and then fell asleep.

The next morning my wife asked: should I wake you up when you do that?

I asked: do what?

When you moan in your sleep, she said.

It was some time after midnight, perhaps 12:30, and you were moaning in your sleep. I've never heard you do that before. Do you want me to awaken you? she asked.

I said: how did you know I was moaning?

She replied: I heard something. There was something in the room. I felt it and I heard it. And then I heard you moaning. It was so strange.

I have never, ever, retained a dream into wakefulness where my dream contained my immediate reality. That is to say, I've never dreamed about my actual surroundings and incorporated them into my waking reality threshold. Though, I must admit, my dreams have always "taken care of me" in the past when I am in danger of being "killed." When my demise is imminent my brain has always dragged me into the land of the living. I have survived any number of actual critical incident events during my career but, despite this, have found myself challenged but never "killed" in my dreams.

Despite that, I knew I had come closer to death than ever before that early morning.

Was it a dream within a dream?

It was, I must admit, all too real to me.



BZ

11 Comments:

Blogger TexasFred said...

Dude, one piece of advice, if you ever feel that type of 'presence' in a room again, PRAY, the entire time you are getting your ass OUT of there...

Fri Mar 02, 10:02:00 PM PST  
Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...

TF: That is one BASIC piece of advice I'd wished I'd taken EXCEPT my wife was still in that room.

BZ

Fri Mar 02, 10:28:00 PM PST  
Blogger bigwhitehat said...

What did you eat?!!

Sat Mar 03, 06:14:00 AM PST  
Blogger Gayle said...

BZ, I don't believe it had anything to do with what you ate. I could relate a couple of similar experiences that would make the hair on the back of your neck stand on end, experiences both my husband and I shared at the same time, and we weren't asleep. Your wife evidently felt the presence too, so no, you're not crazy! Interestingly enough, our experiences happened while we were in Germany and we know what kind of evil was performed there! Something really terrible must have happened in that room you were in.

Evil does exist, of that there is no doubt. I can't say what that was but I can say that stranger things have happened. I'm glad you are okay.

Blessings.

Sat Mar 03, 09:35:00 AM PST  
Blogger Three Score and Ten or more said...

I spent the first six sentient years of my life concentrating on not allowing my arm to hang over the bed at night. Finally the arm chewing blaquestat went away to someone elses bedroom.

Sat Mar 03, 08:25:00 PM PST  
Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...

3S10: well heck, thanks for sending it MY way, then!

BWH: mushrooms.

BZ

Sat Mar 03, 10:19:00 PM PST  
Blogger A Jacksonian said...

Mr. Z - Welcome to the Land of Gray.

It is not a pleasant place, all told, but it can offer one things that are neither in the waking nor the dreaming entire. There are some things that live on that threshold and not all are pleasant and some quite harsh for all their formlessness.

Your mind and soul reacted as necessary to protect and your wife reporting the passing of it at that time tells you so. Those are not fun experiences, because they test you deeply to find what you are made of.

You seek to protect and did so.

One fights by being what one is and those things reach deep into you. You felt. You knew. And that presence passed knowing that it would find nothing easy with you.

You will find that Land of Gray betwixt the sleep and dream only when needed and never tarry when you fall to sleep... save for that small part of you that watches and will recall you from that Dreaming. Because life is worth protecting. And that is who you are.

Rest well and ever so, and may you never need find this Land again.

Sun Mar 04, 12:54:00 PM PST  
Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...

AJ: boy, I was tested alright. A little too close, my brain told me.

BZ

Mon Mar 05, 11:24:00 AM PST  
Blogger Little Miss Chatterbox said...

It does sound like a demonic presence. And yes, praying and not returning to that hotel would be good advice.

To be honest I wonder what had gone on at that hotel that there was a demonic presence. The two times I have sensed it was at an Indian reservation where there is a lot of witch doctor type stuff and then also when I spent a long time talking to some Mormons. The mormon thing really surprised me but it made sense later when you realize that if you aren't praying to the true God the power comes from the the other source.

Mon Mar 05, 04:49:00 PM PST  
Blogger Mahndisa S. Rigmaiden said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Tue Mar 06, 08:40:00 PM PST  
Blogger Three Score and Ten or more said...

Gee, LMC, with that level of religious tolerance, you probably could break into professional blog writing. I hear that John Edwards has a couple of vacancies.

Sat Mar 10, 12:45:00 AM PST  

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