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Bloviating Zeppelin: Still A Guy

Bloviating Zeppelin

(in-ep-toc'-ra-cy) - a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Still A Guy


In recent reflection of not only the pussification of America but the world as well, I happened recently to chance upon a country music station broadcasting out of Sacramento. I heard a song by Brad Paisley entitled "I'm Still A Guy" and, I must admit, in consideration of the state of this nation, I thought the lyrics were appropriate for reproduction here:


"I'm Still A Guy"

When you see a deer you see Bambi
And I see antlers up on the wall
When you see a lake you think picnic
And I see a large mouth up under that log
You're probably thinking that you're going to change me
In some ways well maybe you might
Scrub me down, dress me up but no matter what
I'm still a guy

When you see a priceless French painting
I see a drunk, naked girl
You think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy
And I'd like to give it a whirl
Well love makes a man do some things he ain't proud of
And in a weak moment I might walk your sissy dog, hold your purse at the mall
But remember, I'm still a guy

I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

I can hear you now talking to your friends
Saying, "Yeah girls he's come a long way"
From dragging his knuckles and carrying a club

And building a fire in a cave
But when you say a backrub means only a backrub
Then you swat my hand when I try
Well, what can I say at the end of the day
Honey, I'm still a guy

I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

These days there's dudes getting facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can't grip a tacklebox

With all of these men lining up to get neutered
It's hip now to be feminized
I don't highlight my hair
I've still got a pair
Yeah honey, I'm still a guy

Oh my eyebrows ain't plucked
There's a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I'm still a guy


Thank God I'm still "kickin' it Old School." I don't always agree with my woman. I'm not a carpet. Too much detail drives me crazy. I like action movies. Football season arrives for a reason. I like beer; life is too short for cheap beer. I open the door for my wife. I kiss her and I hold her hand in public because I'm proud she's with me. I know how to cook, how to vacuum, how to do wash, I'm independent. I decorated my own house and I'm clean. Matter of fact I'm infinitely cleaner than my first wife and my last girlfriend. I don't read female authors because they don't write for me. I like guns because they're fun and they make people uncomfortable and because I believe in the Second Amendment. I didn't make my fiance my wife because I had to; I made her my wife because I chose to. I don't like parties. I don't dance. I couldn't much care less about socializing just to socialize. I don't speak much unless it's required. People who talk on and on are stupid and insecure.

And those are just a few reasons I'm glad to be a Guy.

BZ

P.S.
Hmm. Maybe I should listen to more country music.

11 Comments:

Blogger A Jacksonian said...

Where you see a computer and you say WTF?
I see code running on that's been poorly made and crafted.

When you say picnic by the lake is sweet,
I just say, what, is there good stuff to eat?

You saw me and you realized I was hard set in my ways,
And then you dress me up and take me out then find I know more of wine and beer,

For I am still a Nerd.


When you see a French painting,
I see analog rendition,

You think those nights shut up alone is misery,
And yet that is all that keeps me sane.

Well love makes a nerd do things to be proud of,
And you become mystified as your cat finds a long lost friend,
Who knows just where to scratch,

And then you know for sure I'm still a nerd.

=====
Done free-form as I'm not much into music listening... I enjoy it, but...

Of course I didn't go out ever expecting to meet anyone who would put up with that sort of thing as it crosses up all the wiring of what is expected of a guy.

Do I love beer? Dearly, and have had hundreds of brands from around the world and only a few have I found to be utter piss water.

And scotch...

Wines? Yes, you really do have to get out and taste a few hundred and learn to imbibe a bottle in a sitting... and then wonder if that Oporto would hit the spot afterwards.

I've been snorkling in the lakes where the Northern Pike roam, and really they are pretty nasty face-to-face. I've trekked in deserts and swamps and *still* can find my way around Boston, the land of one-way streets. Even odds that without being to a section of metro Toronto for 30 years I could still navigate my way to a favorite Italian family shop.

I still get lost *and* keep a map with me. And the point is...?

I used to be able to slog my way through basic auto repair, but want the clutch and brakes done by people who know what they are doing. And just *where* did Honda hide those other fuel filters?

I've been fishing with little catching, save some sun and and 12 oz curls. And done some basic climbing in land where your rock hammer is your cliff-rattler detection system... (tap,tap,tap... that is the sound you want, not a *squish* or *thud* or sudden rattling). And because I was on staff I got to walk over thin crust territory in Yellowstone, walking staff a must.

I just can't take much of humanity, so do the service to both sides by not being around much. That helps, loads. Even the cats think I'm aloof...

But that's me... male, nerd and enjoying some things that guys don't, and in some ways that guys don't for the things shared in common.

Sun Jul 20, 07:37:00 AM PDT  
Blogger shoprat said...

There's also that great Tracy Byrd song The Truth About Men. A lot of truth to it as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bs6VYx9V-Nw

Sun Jul 20, 10:02:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...

Dang AJ, the Bard Lives!

Shop: I'll have to paste it and go there, thanks.

BZ

Sun Jul 20, 12:00:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...

I just checked it out. Fun!

BZ

Sun Jul 20, 12:04:00 PM PDT  
Blogger TexasFred said...

When you see a deer you see Bambi...

When I see a deer, I see a HUGE pot of Deer Chili!! :)

Sun Jul 20, 12:49:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Gayle said...

I like country music.

BZ, you sound a lot like my husband. :)

Sun Jul 20, 02:20:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Rivka said...

Awesome BZ!! I will have to copy it for my husband AFTER I get him to highlight his hair.. ;) Just kidding.. HOnestly, it grosses me out seeing a man prepare himself like a woman. Sorry, but it is gross. Plucking eyebrows(unless he has a really bad unibrow) and the thing that bothers me is when I see a man get a manicure and have his nails painted with that clear stuff. YUK!!

Great post!

Sun Jul 20, 03:13:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...

TF: ooooo, deer chili!! Nummy!

Gayle: hope that's a good kinda thing.

Rivka: there's a Battalion Chief on the FD working with us who lacquers his nails. Makes me wanna hurl.

BZ

Sun Jul 20, 04:48:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Henry said...

lol

That's one of my wife's favorite songs. I'm not much for country music (Jerry Garcia is more my speed), but she always points out the good tunes.

Dang, BZ, after reading the rest, I think we need to hang out some....

Sun Jul 20, 07:55:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous WMD_Maker said...

BZ
You should listen to more country music. If you liked Rock groups like Eagles, America, Ozark Mountain Daredevils and Lynyrd Skynyrd you will like the "new" country music. If those groups were to come on to the music scene today the only place they could go would be into country music. There is no place for them in "rock music" anymore.

Mon Jul 21, 07:12:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...

WMD: I find myself listening just a bit more to country these days, particularly at my wife's computer where I have a Tivoli Audio PAL radio with a round dial, where I pick up my AM talk radio when I'm blogging. Its precise counterpoint on FM at that spot is a country station. I started listening a little at that time.

BZ

Mon Jul 21, 09:15:00 AM PDT  

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