San Francisco: Again, Home of the Idiots

So, let's postulate you're a good little guilty overeducated LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) "person," customarily white, and you want to fly from SFO (San Francisco International) to some other point on the planet.

Yet, here you sit, fretting, wondering what it is you can possibly do to offset the massive, distracting, horrible vapor trails you see in the sky (vapor trails or contrails themselves, of course, being a government conspiracy in and of themselves), as well as that ghastly, tree-killing air-warping exhaust from those nasty Pratt & Whitney engines, not to mention the chemicals, metals, plastics and manufacturing processes utilized by overbearing Western Civilizations enabling you to fly in a thin aluminum tube to your destination.

Yet, as assiduously guilty as you may well be, some clearly overbearing presence -- like your job or your family, for example -- mandate that you despoil the skies and the earth by stepping foot into said aluminum tube.

What's a guilty LGBT to do?

I know: SFO "certified" carbon offset credits! Oh, and can I get CCOC gift cards?

Read more inanity, dearest BZ devotees:

The experimental program, scheduled to start this spring, would make SFO the first airport in the nation - possibly the world - to offer fliers the opportunity to purchase carbon offsets.

"We'd like people to stop and consider the impacts of flying," said Steve McDougal, executive vice president for 3Degrees, a San Francisco firm that sells renewable-energy and carbon-reduction investments and is teaming up with the airport and the city on the project. "Obviously, people need to fly sometimes. No one expects them to stop, but they should consider taking steps to reduce their impacts."

But where would this money -- not tax deductible -- go? Here's some wonderful GOWP (Guilty Overeducated White Person) doublespeak:

While the carbon offsets purchased at kiosks can't be seen or touched, they are an actual product with a specific environmental claim whose ownership is transferred at the time of purchase," Krista Canellakis, a 3Degrees spokeswoman said.

In summation, isn't it marvelous that all GOWPs can assuage their hurted hearts and throw their cash to another corporation and another governmental entity -- precisely the entities they don't trust at this point -- unless -- oh yes, these corporations or governmental entities are cloaked in the appropriate Religious Leftist Doublespeak Global Warming Dogma. Which is, after all, predicated solely upon emotions.

Aren't emotions wonderful (sound of BZ swooning)?

BZ