Four Cents For The IRS:

It's no secret that I live quite some distance from where I work in the capital of Fornicalia: Sacratomato. Here might be one of the reasons why:

In Sacratomato, the local IRS office has decided that it's appropriate, prudent and fiscally wise to drop in upon a local business that, they revealed, owed four cents.

That's correct: FOUR CENTS.

Since 2006. The interest accrued (which no one can figure out or explain) since then now adds up to $202.31. Which means that the business, Harv's Car Wash, "owes" the IRS an actual $202.35.

If you're in the area, I'd love for you to drop by and have your car washed at Harv's. If for no other reason than to slightly improve his business patterns. Because of his having been leaned upon by the IRS.

Harv's Car Wash has a website here. Check it out and note its location.

And isn't it odd:

Now he's trying to figure out how penalties and interest could climb so high on such a small debt. He says he's never been told he owes any taxes or that he's ever incurred any late-payment penalties in the four years he's owned Harv's.

In fact, he provided us with an Oct. 22, 2009, letter from the IRS that states Harv's "has filed all required returns and addressed any balances due."

IRS spokesman Jesse Weller isn't commenting "due to privacy and disclosure laws."

Which translates to: we've been, once again, exposed as the frauds, incompetents and wasters of taxpayers' money that we are.

In Sacratomato, the IRS office is here, at 4330 Watt Avenue. It looks like this:


Per MapQuest.com, traveling from the IRS office on Watt Avenue to Harv's downtown business would require 14 minutes in average traffic conditions. The distance on the recommended MapQuest route is 9.29 miles. MapQuest's estimated fuel cost is $1.91.

I would guess this is quite low. Local Sacratomato gas prices are now roughly $3.05 per gallon. IRS agents would travel in fleet-purchased Ford Crown Victoria cars. Crown Vics, on good days, get anywhere from 13 to 15 mpg. I know. I drive them. You can do the math.

Now, factor in not only the cost of driving a car, but the US pay grades for IRS US Treasury agents, who are law enforcement officers. I acquired my pay scale from this chart.

Let's assume that these are not brand new agents. New agents are not sent, anywhere in the federal system, to Sacratomato. They must first spend time in large first assignment cities. Agents are not able to acquire their OP (office of preference) for some time. On that basis, one can assume that these are likely GS 11 agents at or near top step pay. A GS 11 agent at top step, in the Sacratomato area, makes a base rate of $38.28.

This one visit, for a potential collection stemming from a "delinquent tax" of 4-cents, cost $76 plus $2.00 for gas. Plus the time it took -- not quite calculable -- for other federal employees to locate the business, locate the returned tax forms, match them, make a determination of 4-cents owed, pass this paperwork up through the chain to the collections division, have this paperwork pass over a supervisor's desk, examine said paperwork, make a decision, then pass said paperwork back down to the appropriate desk, file the paperwork, place it into an action manifest for a physical trip to the business, locate and reserve a vehicle for said trip, identify two agents to be assigned the case, work up the case, confirm the debt, make the trip, make the contact, then make the trip back.

Overall, I'd wager this costed taxpayers roughly $1,000. And I'll bet I'm conservative in this figure. In order to collect on an original debt of four-cents.

This is sheer insanity. But it's how your federal government rolls.

You happy about this, America?

BZ