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The Rapture: Why Not Take Care Of Your Pets?

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Bloviating Zeppelin: The Rapture: Why Not Take Care Of Your Pets?

Bloviating Zeppelin

(in-ep-toc'-ra-cy) - a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

The Rapture: Why Not Take Care Of Your Pets?

From the UK Mail Online, regarding today's "end of the world":

  • Saturday is last day on earth, claims evangelical Christian
  • Harold Camping, 89, wrongly predicted 'the rapture' date once before in 1994
  • God's chosen few ascend to heaven, sinners left behind to face earthquakes
  • Atheists hold parties to celebrate 'inevitable embarrassment'
  • Christian author calls Camping's prediction 'flat-out wrong'

  • That said, however, perhaps it's time to throw some actual concern towards this: what would happen to your pets under Mr Camping's dire prediction? Fear not, then:

    Click here for your post-apocalypse/all-purpose pet care providers, namely: After The Rapture Pet Care!

    As one Rapturist noted:

    I agreed – it’s a real concern, and a legitimate concern. Our pets are given to us by God for us to care for. We are stewards of their lives. Should we simply forget them at the Rapture, allow them to starve or worse?

    To wit:

    This is what will happen for all pets registered with us immediately after the Rapture:

    1. Our non-Christian administrators will activate our rescue plan.
    2. Volunteers will be alerted immediately by email and telephone that they have been activated.
    3. Pets will be assigned to our Volunteer Pet Caretakers based upon location and other factors.
    4. Our administrators and Volunteer Pet Caretakers will do whatever it takes to find and rescue your pets. If your pet has a location chip, they'll use that, or they'll go to every location you've registered with us, and, if your pets are not at one of those locations, they'll search for your cars as well as stay in contact with the local pet shelters. If they are unable to reach a Volunteer Caretaker in your area for whatever reason, our administrators will communicate with local animal organizations, like the Humane Society, to advocate for your pet's rescue and care.
    5. Our administrators will stay in touch with our Volunteer Pet Caretakers regarding each and every pet to be sure everything is being done to rescue and care for them.

    Ease your mind as you transition freely into perpetuity, knowing your personal pet will be overseen, as least for a time, by the evildoers left behind! And isn't that, at once, both ironic and somehow satisfying?

    Before I go, I should care to point this out, from CNN Money:

    NEW YORK (CNNMoney) -- By now, you've probably heard of the religious group that's predicting the end of the world starts this weekend.

    Harold Camping and his devoted followers claim a massive earthquake will mark the second coming of Jesus, or so-called Judgment Day on Saturday, May 21, ushering in a five month period of catastrophes before the world comes to a complete end in October.

    At the center of it all, Camping's organization, Family Radio, is perfectly happy to take your money -- and in fact, received $80 million in contributions between 2005 and 2009. Camping founded Family Radio, a nonprofit Christian radio network based in Oakland, Calif. with about 65 stations across the country, in 1958.

    I observe: isn't that odd? How many times must we be told that when persons seem to insist it isn't "about the money," it's inevitably about the money?

    I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but it's evangelical Moonbats like Mr Camping, who take advantage of the elderly and the infirm on TV, that assist in giving Christianity a bad name.

    As in: do you possibly think that somehow our Lord has deemed Mr Camping, of all people on the planet, to be the recipient of the most important information in the history of Mankind?

    Nah. Me neither.

    See you tomorrow.



    Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...

    This is a real bummer. Because I still want to visit Dutch Harbor and buy a nice motorcycle. Talk about inconvenient!


    Fri May 20, 08:01:00 PM PDT  
    Blogger David Wyatt said...

    So sad, you are right that false teachers like this man give genuine Bible Christianity a bad name. How many failed "prophecies" does it take to make on a false "prophet"? One, according to Deuteronomy 18:22. He's already an epic fail.

    Fri May 20, 09:46:00 PM PDT  
    Blogger Bushwack said...

    What's funny is folks like their lives like wretched thugs, get older then try an buy their way into heaven. As age I see it all the time. Churches filled to the brim with old folks that will gladly tell you a story. You can bet their are trying to hedge their bets with the all mighty buy writing checks. God doesn't need money and he don't accept bribes.

    Poor folks with loony bin ideas...

    Fri May 20, 10:54:00 PM PDT  
    Blogger Mark said...

    This kind of thing makes me sick, especially because I am a christian, here's yet another failed prediction of the "end of the age" that has no basis whatsoever in real, scriptural prophecy. a subject dear to me. yet, why would anyone pay any attention to prophecy these days? thanks to clowns like this guy many have become (rightly) cynical about the subject and desensitized to scripture period.

    Sat May 21, 04:44:00 AM PDT  
    Blogger TexasFred said...

    It's OK BZ, we'll all be here tomorrow, unless we aren't, and that means it was *our time* to go, but it won't be from some *rapture*, it'll be because we fucking died...

    For your listening pleasure: Spirit in the Sky...

    Sat May 21, 05:43:00 AM PDT  
    Blogger Greybeard said...

    Not perfect.
    Just saved.
    As am I.
    Give 'em a break.

    Sat May 21, 07:38:00 AM PDT  
    Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...

    Greybeard, my issue is not with the belief; it is with the individual who deigns to think solely he can somehow uniquely interpret and determine, with prescience, God's great plan to the hour and day.

    Mark, that was predominantly my point.

    And Greybeard, I too am far, far from perfect. . .


    Sat May 21, 12:59:00 PM PDT  
    Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...

    Update, Sunday, May 22nd:

    Ooooops. Still here. No earthquakes.

    What, you mean Camping ISN'T a prophet??


    Sun May 22, 10:58:00 AM PDT  

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