Hollywood and Media Sinking

I wrote about this in the comments section of another blog and thought: this warrants a post in and of itself. So. . .

Brokeback Mountain has already been given 7 Golden Globe nominations -- it also garnered awards from Critics Choice and other areas. Any publicity it acquires helps its box office. Some kids in the Sacratomato Valley area have already been exposed to trailers for this movie. There is the given "hukk" factor from many males. These are two guys who are cheating on their wives, married to two beautiful women. They go hunting and fishing several times a year with each other -- making, perhaps, women at home now wondering what's happening when "their men" take off.

This is a movie about gay Wyoming cowboys with a Chinese director and two stars, Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal, who want greater "exposure" so to speak. Gyllenhaal already "tanked" in the deceptive Jarhead which went afar from the book.

But you know what? Nobody's going to see Brokeback. The only alternative is to make the most of whatever publicity the movie generates.

But, of course, there's more: soon coming is a movie about two gay baseball players, further expanding the "hukk" factor for most men.

"Hukk," by the way, is the noise one makes, deep in the throat, before one blows chow.

Hollywood is experiencing the biggest drop in attendance in 20 years.

So is the major media.

But this post is primarily about Hollywood -- so what factors are responsible for the diminishment of box office revenues -- at the same time that motion picture producers are taking many of their companies and shoots away from Fornicalia and into areas NOT anchored to huge union costs and oppressive union rules?

Let's look:

1. Quality of Films
Just hitting the high points of films I've watched in the past year or so (either in the theatre or rented on DVD), some positive examples come to mind:
- Criminal
- Serenity
- Crash
- Lord of the Rings trilogy
- Wedding Crashers (I kinda like Vince Vaughn)
- March of the Penguins (a French documentary fer Christ's sake!)

The only movie I've walked out of for at least 25 years:
- The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (what a listless waste of celluloid!)

That's about it.

Some positives from television (only on "cable"):
- Empire Falls
- Deadwood
- Rome

I've seen a buttload of movies this year and most were eminently forgettable.

Coming up as trailers as I anticipated seeing Walk the Line: remakes of The Poseidon Adventure and Miami Vice. As expressed by a young man, rather loudly after the trailer for Miami Vice: "Show of hands for those who think this is a bad idea?" Most everyone in the theatre raised their hand.

I usually see, on average, one new movie a week. Sometimes I'll not see anything for a week or two -- depends on circumstances. Cutting to the chase: I am a Hollywood-friendly person who wants to see movies. And even I'm hitting the alternatives.

The remakes suck. There is little originality. And the more you cater to the fringes in, for example, the homsexual community, the more I'll see movies at home and more carefully pick and choose.

2. Ticket Prices
In Sacratomato, Fornicalia, most tickets cost $9.50. Make it an even ten bucks. In Auburn, where I go to see many of my films, ticket prices are $6.50 during the day -- which is when I attend. I try not to see films in so-called "major cities" because $10 for a movie is a waste -- particulary considering the tripe most movies turn out to be.

3. Concession Prices
Even in Auburn, a little (but expanding) foothills bedroom community: $6.00 for a large bucket of popcorn, $4.25 for a "medium" Coke. Total: $10.25.

So to see one movie away from a major theatre city, I've spent $16.75 for one person -- the better part of a $20 bill.

In Sacratomato, a smaller bag of popcorn, still called "large" but not containing nearly as much popcorn as Auburn, costs $6.50. A drink, smaller (but still called medium) costs the same.

4. Advertisements
Get there early, so you can catch "The Twenty!" Wrong. I get to most Regal Theatres late so I don't have to catch that crap. At least Century Theatres don't have ads. Guess what folks? More ads are coming! Why? To make up for lost revenues!

5. Rude Assholes In the Audience
Plenty of them in major cities. Cell phone yakkers and loud talkers and kids talking and talking and parents bringing their stupid damned crying babies. Here's a clue: parents, give us a break. I don't pay to eat in a restaurant or sit in a movie to hear your piece of s*!t kid cry, talk, bawl or throw a tantrum. Take the damned kid out and pitch him or her into the nearest dumpster. One parent recently had enough class to actually say, in a loud voice to their child: "That's enough!" and they were marched out of the theatre. There was actual applause. Myself included. That parent was the exception and not the rule.

6. DVD Pricing and Watching At Home
So here are my options:
- I can park in a packed lot with all the other groundlings
- I can hope my car doesn't get broken into whilst I'm gone
- I can pay $10 per ticket
- I can pay $7 for popcorn that costs 20-cents to make
- I can get served by a listless tweener with nose piercing, bad nails, surly attitude, wearing pants barely containing her ass and roll of body fat with green teeth who can only produce change because the machine tells her what to give back
- I am subjected to ads prior to even the trailers
- I can hope I've chosen a spot furthest away from the pack of teenaged kids or bawling baby
- I can hope the movie doesn't both suck and blow
- I can hope the bathroom, after the movie, has paper towels and warm water -- or not

*OR:

- I can watch what I want, when I want, pause for breaks, on my new 36" Toshiba flatscreen
- I can see how various movies were made in the "extra" section of each DVD
- I can lay on my leather couch, pull a fleece blankie over me, drink a Diet Pepsi instead of a stupid Diet Coke
- Or another Adult Beverage
- No one cries in my house, talks on the phone, or irritates me
- I just purchased two wonderful, classic movies on DVD for $9.95 each through Amazon.com: Three Days of the Condor and Marthon Man -- for the price of a ticket for a bad movie
- And I get to keep the movies!
- And they play as well the 100th time as the first!

Hello?

Earth to Hollywood?

Are you listening?