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Bloviating Zeppelin: Turban Pat-Down

Bloviating Zeppelin

(in-ep-toc'-ra-cy) - a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Turban Pat-Down

We're going to ask those wearing turbans to pat themselves down at airport security areas.

Sikhs have complained that the TSA is messing with their turbans. Turbans will not be subject to patdowns any more, according to the TSA. 82 complaints brought the TSA to its veritable knees.

By Ravinder Singh Robin
San Francisco, Nov.8 (ANI): In a significant development, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) in the United States has announced new guidelines that permit Sikh air passengers to retain their turbans at US screening checkpoints. In a response to a microscopic proportion of so-called "complaints."

The TSA has also announced plans to recruit Sikh youths for airport security assignments to screen Sikh passengers. Ah yes, Sikh "youths," those most subject to recruitment by al-Qaeda or other Islamist agendists due to their immaturity and inexperience. Smooth move, TSA.

The new policy is a direct response to Sikh concerns that were raised after the TSA decided that "bulky" headwear like cowboy hats, berets or turbans would be patted down as a screening measure. Proving, once again, that TSA spread its searches in a complete egalitarian fashion involving anyone with hats. But no, that's still racist. Bull-fucking-shit.

According to the new TSA guidelines, airport screeners will no longer "pat down" people wearing religious head coverings and travellers will have the choice of going through alternative security measures. In an obvious attempt to become appeasists, allowing style or form to trump substance. This nation is nothing if not, these days, consistent.

Officials said that such alternatives may include walking through a machine that detects explosive chemicals or wearers could agree to pat down their own turban, and then have their hands swabbed with a cloth that is tested for chemical residue. But still, if there were an actual object of most any derivative ensconced within that turban, it would remain predominantly undiscovered. To include non-metallic sharpened carbon- or plastic-derived knives, single or binary explosives. Everyone does know, yes, that Semtex or Detcord or C-4 or C-5 is NOT metallic nor metallic in nature and can pass unimpeded through any metal detector?

Allow me to back up for a moment and acknowledge a few facts:

  • Sikhs originate mostly from the Punjab region of India;
  • Sikhs embrace a knife culture: "Kirpaan" (blade): Sikhs wear a blade, approximately, 6" - 9", on their bodies to symbolize self-respect and self-defense. It is an insult to refer to this article of Sikh faith as a knife."
  • True Sikhs are not Muslim; from Wikipedia: "Due to the turbans Sikhs wear and the relative scarcity of Sikhs, there have been incidents of mistaking Sikhs in Western countries for Middle Eastern men and/or Muslims. This has negatively affected Sikhs living in the west especially with respect to the 9/11 terrorist attack and recent Iraq War conflict.

And yet, here is the rub:

Militant Muslims and Islamists are not stupid; they read and scan and absorb. By making this policy public it would be logical to assume that, under the guise of being Sikh, Islamists shall now attempt to take advantage of this ridiculous, puerile and knee-jerk reactive policy by TSA.

We have now provided a legal method of secreting explosives and weapons on board commercial airplanes within the United States.



Blogger Ranando said...

We should to open a Tuban Company, ASAP!

I have a feeling this is going to be BIG, like in a BIG way. I always think it's going to be LOUD!

Sat Nov 10, 05:51:00 AM PST  
Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...

Ah, the loveliness of living in a PC world. . .


Sat Nov 10, 07:34:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Obvious PC insanity aside, how does such a decision from 82 persons (82!!!) warrant such a change in security procedures?

82 people out of a little more than 350, 000, 000 Americans should not warrant a change in how quickly a traffic light changes colour, let alone change a security policy that will, sooner than later I fear, affect us all.

Perhaps some of these *********** who make such decisions should go to another country and try to change the policy...any policy or rule or tradition...and see firsthand the outcome.

Sat Nov 10, 09:18:00 AM PST  
Blogger Rivka said...

This doesn't make sense to me and it never will. We can't be PC since 9/11 and especially now with what is going on in Iran.

Sat Nov 10, 11:19:00 AM PST  
Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...

Loon & Rivka: but here's the rub: you and I don't GET to decide what makes sense and what is PC, do we?


Sat Nov 10, 11:58:00 AM PST  
Blogger shoprat said...

I have met Sikhs and they were decent people even if I don't agree with their religion.

Maybe we should just have everyone walk through an X-ray machine like they did on Total Recall.

Sat Nov 10, 05:55:00 PM PST  
Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...

Shoprat: don't laugh, that's actually an excellent point -- machines like that are in fact ready to be deployed in the next few years. They exist.


Sat Nov 10, 06:11:00 PM PST  
Blogger Gayle said...

Wait a minute! That's discrimination! I want to be able to pat myself down too! I don't fly anywhere, but that's beside the point. I demand equal rights! (Like that's going to do me any good.) :(

Sun Nov 11, 12:06:00 PM PST  

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