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Bloviating Zeppelin: Shoes

Bloviating Zeppelin

(in-ep-toc'-ra-cy) - a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010


I purchased a new pair of shoes this past weekend, at Sports Authority in Fornicalia.

An attachment to my shoes read:

To avoid severe personal injury when riding escalators & moving walking
- Stand in the middle of the step facing forward
- Do not contact any surface next to the moving tread or step
- Step carefully when getting on or off
- Hold children's hand & supervise children at all times

This was for a pair of SHOES. Some lined Crocs.

Hello? SHOES!

America?? Are you awake??



Blogger dmurray said...

I credit a commenter's style from Ace of Spades mocking NBC anchor Brian Williams, "Tort reform? Never heard of it."

Mon Feb 01, 07:03:00 PM PST  
Blogger Z said...

darn, BZ, I can't read the print against the dark background..sorry!

Mon Feb 01, 07:17:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for deregulation Bush!

Mon Feb 01, 08:43:00 PM PST  
Blogger Well Seasoned Fool said...

End product of frivolous lawsuits.

Mon Feb 01, 10:08:00 PM PST  
Blogger The Born Again American said...

Kind of sad when there's a warning on "Preparation-H" "do not take orally"

I'm all for letting nature weed out the stupid and the lawyers...

Tue Feb 02, 02:39:00 AM PST  
Blogger A Jacksonian said...

We used to have a legal system based upon a standard of the average citizen, where if an average man could be expected to know what to do in a situation or how to use something, then you really couldn't make a case that your asinine use of an item or insanely stupid thing you did was the fault of the manufacturer.

Now we have the legal standard that you, the average citizen, is a moron and the corporation is deific in its knowledge of how you, the moron, will not think about how you use a product. That means that we now have the moron legal standard requiring warning labels on every damned thing.

On a can of Planter's Peanuts, right at my table:
"Manufactured on equipment that processes tree nuts."
"Choking Warning Do not give nuts to children under 6."

Oooooo!! I never would of expected that nuts were processed via nut processing equipment! Or that children can choke on small objects, save those that seem to be able to swallow dimes rather easily...

At least the iodized salt container is still warning label free... and the spices in the spice cupboard. The petroleum jelly OTOH comes with 'For external use only' and 'do not get into eyes'! Also 'Do not use on deep puncture wounds, animal bites or severe burning' so whatever you do don't bring it to the dog fighting garage on the south side built over an old kerosene storage container, because this stuff just won't help you once that is all mixed together.

For most electronics it is RTFM when all else fails, because they are non-intuitively designed.

Tort reform and the common man standard are necessary... the over-lawyered moron standard is just plain nuts.

Processed on equipment used for processing those in need of an asylum.

Tue Feb 02, 04:28:00 AM PST  
Blogger Always On Watch said...


A warning attached to shoes?

IMO the manufacturer is taking precautions against getting sued. Inane, of course.

Tue Feb 02, 05:30:00 AM PST  
Blogger mrchuck said...

Hey, these will look "spiffy" when you wear them to work. Just what is needed when addressing the troops commencing to go out on the streets and do battle.

Tue Feb 02, 08:43:00 AM PST  
Blogger shoprat said...

Next, electric drills with warnings not to use drill to clean wax out of ears.

Tue Feb 02, 11:20:00 AM PST  
Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...

I slap my forehead at the purposeful dumbing down of America. Thank you, attorneys and greedy bastard civilians.


Tue Feb 02, 11:24:00 AM PST  
Blogger Ron Russell said...

Damn, I didn't know we were so dumb. I see it now on ceral boxes--careful, do not overload your spoon because you may get choked! The nannys are everywhere, everywhere I turn.

Tue Feb 02, 02:32:00 PM PST  
Blogger Toms said...

Litigation Gone Wild. Which is the response to the abdication of personal responsibility.

Tue Feb 02, 03:58:00 PM PST  
Blogger Tim said...

Those are the gayest shoes I've ever seen a man buy. Please tell me your wife brought them for you!

Tue Feb 02, 07:09:00 PM PST  
Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...

Tim: aaaaaaaaaaah, now THAT was funny!!


Wed Feb 03, 04:56:00 PM PST  

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