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Whom Do You Hate?

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Bloviating Zeppelin: Whom Do You Hate?

Bloviating Zeppelin

(in-ep-toc'-ra-cy) - a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Whom Do You Hate?

Do I hate certain persons?

You bet I do. I'll also wager you and I share some persons we hate in common.

My most recent experience that got me to thinking:

So there I was. At the Monterey Fisherman's Wharf with a rather urgent need requiring fulfillment. I had already tried two restrooms clogged with waiting persons or a flock of children and their fathers. That did nothing for my requisite demands.

I left the muni wharf for western reaches beyond. I tried another restroom. Locked. By this time I was bordering on psychotic. Nature wasn't going away, that much was abundantly clear. I had already wasted ten precious minutes.

I finally found a bathroom in a State of Fornicalia complex and waited patiently for another few minutes whilst a man urinated in a closed stall. Now, let me make this straight: he could have used the Mark I, Model I urinal a few centimeters to his left; but no. He had to have an enclosed stall. And, as we all know, these enclosed stalls contain basic toilets replete with seats and everything.

Did he know I was there and waiting? Yes, because the larger handicapped toilet was otherwise occupied by someone clearly with pants around ankles, and the urinal then became occupied by the man ahead of me. So I already knew: this guy is peeing, he isn't doing other things. He could hear myself and other persons clearing our throats, talking, letting those involved know that they were not the only ones on the planet. Common etiquette.

He finished and snatched the latch open, sliding out. Another guy hit the urinal. My only option was the smaller toilet stall. I walked inside and found the toilet seat down and completely covered in piss. This guy had pissed all over the toilet seat. Folks, I had to do something more serious than that and required said seat. All he'd had to do was lift the toilet seat itself, requiring something like 12 pounds of pressure on the lid. And then do what needed to be done. Knowing that other persons were behind him. I lit off like a Roman Candle.

The guy was probably a good ten years younger than me and taller and heavier. He was carrying a backpack, a large gut, and another bag over his shoulder. Short dark hair, glasses, shorts, sneakers. Tourist. My scope of vision narrowed and turned dark red.

"Hey asshole," I purred warmly, "you just pissed all over the fucking toilet seat." In the minute or so that followed I found my right hand around his throat squeezing with some decent pressure, pinning him up against the tile. Suffice to say I was rather irate. We exchanged a few further pleasantries and he wisely didn't swing at me but scurried away when I came to my senses. I have never, ever, I swear to you, done anything remotely like this before.

But the exquisite rudeness and assumption of this portly fuckhead defintely pulled my chain.

I smartly concluded that it was time to leave the Monterey Fisherman's Wharf.

What sets you off?

A few of my additional peeves:

  • Driving 60 MPH in the far left lane when the freeway is clogged with traffic and the limit is 65, and there's a good mile or more in front of you;
  • Pacing the Kenworth tractor/trailer rig through the curves when you possess twice the engine he does and traffic behind you is backed up a good quarter mile;
  • Being in a construction zone and talking on the phone, unmoving, whilst others behind you wait for you to move -- and the light turns red -- and you only wake up on the yellow and move ahead a few feet;
  • Being in a movie theatre and deciding the deux ex machina is the perfect time to take that cell phone call -- loudly;
  • Dragging your two or three brats to the market or Costco or Sam's Club and deciding to block an entire aisle while me and four others are stacked up, attempting to continue further up the aisle past you;
  • Being in a restaurant and having to watch and listen whilst your kid(s) throw food about, scream at the top of their lungs, shriek at ear-piercing decibels, and you respond with complete indifference or eminently ignorable comments like "he does that all the time." Folks, I came to the restaurant for a relaxing dinner, not to hear or watch or listen to your spawn break windows with their tight little vocal cords or shitty attitudes;

What pisses me off: people who think that they are apparently the only ones in the Universe and no one else exists.

What pisses YOU off?



Blogger TexasFred said...

I'm NEVER pissed off... LMAO...

Sun Sep 24, 06:22:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...

Well -- perhaps I should have stated that my seat was pissed ON.


Sun Sep 24, 06:58:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Dionne said...

This totally reminds me of a Seinfeld episode where George yells, "We are living in a society!!"

It is sad that people seem to becoming more self-centered and they think the universe revolves around them.

Sun Sep 24, 10:43:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Bushwack said...

BZ, the things that piss you off are some of my biggest pet peaves about living in SO CAL.
These people around here are so wrapped up in themselves they don't realize that others are impacted by their arrogance and selfishness.

I fault the parents of these morons if they are under 25, if they are over that, then it is because they haven't had the shit kicked out of them enough by people like us.
Have you ever been guilty of Accidently doing things like you mentioned?
I was on my phone in the car at a light, and was not paying attention the light changed I didn't move. it was a quick light and we had to sit through it again, I got out of the car and apologized to the guy behind me. " he said man that happens to me all the time and thats the first time anyone has apologized. I told him I wouldn't be guilty of it again. and to this day it hasn't.

Mon Sep 25, 12:36:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Gayle said...

LOL! BZ, I'll bet that that man will think twice before he ever does that again! Good for you! :)

Being stuck behind two women walking side by side down the isle of any store with rear-ends on them so huge you can't get around and they are walking in slow motion. (Which is actually one of your pet peeves, and it's the same for people in a group. It's just that there are a lot of women with huge butts in my area.)

People walking through a door with me right behind them and not being courteous enough to hold the door open.

Buying a pair of scissors and finding it necessary to have a pair of scissors in order to open the package of scissors. That's not so bad when you are at home, but when you're on the road like I was and you need a pair of scissors to open some food products, so you buy them and can't open them because you don't have any scissors! GRRRR!

I enjoyed this post. :)

Mon Sep 25, 11:37:00 AM PDT  
Blogger A Jacksonian said...

You get to a wonderful restaurant, quiet, subdued... and then you have a Dave Barry moment:If you're a new parent, there will come a time when either you or your spouse will say these words:
"Let's take the baby to a restaurant!"

Now, to a normal, sane person, this statement is absurd. It's like saying: "Let's take a moose to the opera!"

Yes, been there, done that.

The restaurant realized that there was a problem and made the couple with their handy-dandy baby carrier much more comfortable by the fireplace... near the bar... in a different room... a set of doors between said bar area and the dining area... closed doors. Peace and quiet ensued for the dining population and the couple got a cozy fireside table all to their lonesome. I hope they take a moose to the opera someday.

I have been stuck behind a truck towing a housetrailer on a two lane highway... in Montana... in the winter... during a blizzard... 20 miles from civilization... during whiteout conditions... I am from Buffalo, NY and know all about patience, but not for 90 more miles taken at 15mph when I can make 35mph in those conditions *safely*. I passed and made it between the truck/trailer and unseen oncoming tractor/trailer semi rig. As a diabetic making that 90 miles in 2 hours versus nearly 5 hours is life threatening. If it were for 5 miles or so I would not be pissed off. For 90 miles it was turn back and go without food for a few days if I was lucky or starve on the road being patient. Neither was a life continuing prospect at that time.

That is why I am *for* armed and armored vehicles, it is like having a well armed society that openly displays its weapons: it teaches manners, courtesy and respect. Learning marksmanship requires patience and respect for skills and consideration of many things in the use of them. They do you no good if you challenge a swordsman to a duel. You do not do stupid things like get on the road with a pickup truck and a blizzard during whiteout conditions. It is foolhardy. It is idiotic and asking to be blown over. It requires chains on the tires. It is not a courteous thing to do and would get you attacked by that fool with the turreted grenade launcher and autocannon who is frustrated by your discourtesy in not waiting for the storm to blow over until it is safe to *haul* that housetrailer. The one who can drive *safely* in those conditions.

Weapons create courtesy. Ask the Victorian upper and middle classes that served in Africa, India, and Asia. They were polite not only because of decorum as given in novels where that is given as 'civilized behavior', but for their experiences and capabilities. Dr. Watson kept a revolver with him and went armed when things got dangerous or was told it might be necessary. He had served in India. Holmes depended upon Dr. Watson being a clean and efficient user of firearms, while he, himself, could do so but preferred the actual rapier beyond mere wit. People were courteous to them for a *reason* beyond respect for being intelligent and capable gentlemen in unravelling mysteries and practicing medicine. The next time someone pines away for the 'oh, so polite Victorian, era' remind them that it came from gentlemen willing to pick up arms to defend their honor in duels.

When I say that I have been born into the wrong century, that is *why*. We have this fool notion that weapons create uncivilized behavior while it is their *lack* of wide spread use and prominance that creates a vacuum between those willing to go armed and those unwilling to do so. Duelling had a price to it... lack of it has one, also, that we must learn to recognize. 'Dissing' in the modern rap culture is used as a reason to cause mayhem - actual dishonoring in the pre-20th century can get you killed because you will be required to back it up with your *life* and your skill with the weapon of your choice or learn the humility of saying 'I am sorry, forgive my intemperance'. A society that respects weapons and skills to use them is courteous. Civil society begins there and ends with blood to defend freedom and civilization to the last gasp before barbarism.

We are too civilized for our own good and it will get us killed if we do not realize that. And *not* the metaphorical or rhetorical killed, either.

Mon Sep 25, 01:05:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...

Good stories and comments all!

Now, lemme hear ya make a "GRRRRR" en-masse.


Mon Sep 25, 04:29:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Mahndisa S. Rigmaiden said...

09 6 06

BZ you have inspired me to write a post about what happened after my talk today. hehehheehhe! Let's just say I will tell you there what pisses me off! You are too much! I don't know what has been happening lately, but people really have been going over their personal edges lately! Today, I blew up in the middle of Market Street in San Francisco...

Tue Sep 26, 12:46:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...


Wow. I gotta say, dude: I am empiracally impressed. That would impress me more than most anything I've yet experienced. You Man'd Up on that one. Kudos.


Wed Sep 27, 08:56:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...


I read your thoughts. I can only write: good for you! Deserved!


Wed Sep 27, 09:23:00 PM PDT  
Blogger James Manning said...

Man, I got pissed today and the LA transit system. I went to jury duty but had to postpone. I'm 19 minutes away from my house but to get home on the bus i had to walk 3 blocks, catch a bus for 2 blocks, walk 6 more blocks, wait 30 minutes, take another 7 minute bus ride, wait 10 minutes, take a 20 minute bus ride, then walk the last 4 1/2 blocks home.

I hate LA drivers. bastards are rude.

Wed Sep 27, 09:25:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin said...

James: you know the funny thing is, though I hate the double diamond lanes in LA, I find the LA drivers to be more professional and collected than those around Sacramento. For a time I had to make three or four trips to LA this past year and in 2005, and though I got lost a couple times I found the driving experience more collected than in my area. Yes, you'd best get into an aggressive driving mindset. But, once there, I found I melded right in and could deal with the volume of traffic. At least you guys have multiple lanes of traffic not only on the freeways but, more importantly, on surface streets. Driving in the Sacratomato Valley is like driving in the early 1900s.


Sat Sep 30, 07:28:00 PM PDT  

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