The WORST Cop Car Ever Made

So there I was, on my Wednesday post, when one commenter, DMurray, happened to mention the Dodge St. Regis as a cop car. And years of Memories Past came flooding back in all their horror.

I associate two things with 1979 (its introductory year):

1. The incredibly-Leftist California Rose Bird Supreme Court, and
2. The incredibly-ridiculous Dodge St. Regis cop cars

Rose Bird was bad enough. She was literally removed from office in a November 4th, 1986 voting mandate because she was such an incredible tweak. Rose Bird was actually too "over-the-top" for Fornicalia. (Luckily, she passed away in 1999. I normally don't write those things. For her, I make an exception.) Imagine that.

But to be forced to drive a Dodge St. Regis barge which was the size of an aircraft carrier, powered by a Fornicalia-mandated 318-CID? That was beyond embarrassing.

Let me make this plain: the Dodge St. Regis was the worst cop car I ever drove. Period. And I'm still a cop, driving CVPI's. All 250-hp of them. [Less hp than my 2007 Toyota RAV-4 Limited V6, which is chipped up to 300 hp from 269 hp and still runs on regular unleaded.]

The California Highway Patrol used the St. Regis in 1979 with the 190 hp 360 CID (cubic inch displacement) four-barrel V8 and it was deemed "acceptable" for patrol use. Think about that for a moment: a 360-CID V8, four-barrel carburetor, only producing 190 hp! Anyone besides me saying: horribly "detuned"? Hello?

In my department, 1980 heralded the California 155 hp 318 CID engine, 4 bbl V8 with the California emissions package, mandated by the California Air Resources Board (CARB). That was also the version CHP was forced to purchase as well. In a Dodge St. Regis.

[In terms of reference, my 2008 Toyota Corolla LE makes an issued-from-the-factory 125 hp. A Corolla!]

In 1979, CHP anticipated its 1980 cop car bid under the Dodge St. Regis. CHP EVOC instructors at the academy in Bryte were beside themselves. The car proffered times and handling similar to a 1960 Nash Metropolitan.

CHP cut its bid for the 1980 Dodge St. Regis by half. Meaning that a surcharge of previously-ordered CHP-spec'd cars were available for purchase by local agencies. At something of a discount, shall we say.

And so my department made such an attachment bid. Therefore, instead of driving our normal green-and-white cars, we drove CHP-colored black-and-whites.

Because CHP absolutely detested the 1980 Dodge St. Regis.

Three things I can recall about the St. Slow-gis:

1. I backed into a pole in 1979 whilst taking a 488 PC report at the Shell gas station on Arden Way. I didn't report it. The car was a piece of crap anyway. No one cared.
2. The CHP-ordered St. Regis had the first generation of electric windows, adjustable electric seats (NEVER before experienced in my department!) and a great air conditioner!
3. Heading EOW in 1980, I decided to "floor" my St. Regis on I-80 towards the Madison Avenue exit, in order to head to the North Station. You can see I exhibited the word "floor" in quotes. Because, on its "CERTIFIED" speedometer, it reached a grand total of 79 mph.

And I'm not kidding.

BZ